Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

5 Golden Hacks To Turn Your Mornings Bright

Make Your Mornings Bright tips and tricks
We all are suckers when it comes to motivation and inspiration ..aren’t we? Possibly looking for it every nook and corner . The thing we don’t notice is that motivation and positivity lies within us , we just need to give it a push every morning. This push is what makes a good morning to a gold morning ! Clearly a morning spent happily or in a stressedful manner is the  main factor decides if the day is gonna turn bad or good for each one of us. The difference between a good day and a bad day is how you think of it in the morning. When you start a day with freshness and positive vibes it is clear that you establish a positive vibrational tone for the rest of the day.
When I get up in the morning I for one wake up and find myself in the most positive vibrational state. Sometimes I don’t , maybe because I have missed on my sleep and i am feeling groggy  or I watched a scary movie etc etc. I do make an effort to start my morning by telling myself ‘'how lucky Iam to still be alive and make all those things right ansd that adds up as a positive vibrational tone for the rest of the day for me. Hence to keep these positive vibes going, I started my day with good feeling thoughts.

Friday, May 15, 2015

Only If Harry Potter & His Friends had a Smartphone!

hp
If you love magic , JK Rowling’s best selling book ‘Harry Potter and the six books that followed’ wouldn’t be new to you. What is it about this fantasy world that has been so astonishingly attractive for so many adults and children you wonder. What magic was to them is what smartphones are to us today. If you are a pottermaniac you must have at some moment thought of all the possibilities the students of Hogwarts would have if they had access to a smartphone ! I am not saying wands and magic potions weren’t enough for them but what if they were to use smartphones in their daily life ? Well well I have always had these crazy thoughts of what it would be like if harry potter and his friends had access to the smartphones ! :D
Its damn outright true that when you’ve got magic, you don’t really need the net or a smartphone for that matter. But let’s just say that in a parallel universe, Harry Potter and the gang get their hands on a smartphone and discover the wonders of the apps installed on a smartphone, what would it be like?! If that happened, then these are the ways I guessed they would benefit from it.
1. No more waiting : Remember how Harry and his friends had to wait for holidays and weekends to taste their favorite Butterbeer ( Well its simply the most delicious drink ever even though nobody has tried it yet!) , Magical sweets, the delicious Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans and chocolate frogs. They would travel in the coldest of the winters to the three broomsticks to get a sip of their favorite drink . If they had the power of smartphones they would able to order all these at the click of a button ! Viola , I am sure Hermoine would use the time saved in studying some more. :P
2. No ‘OUCH’ moments: What happens when you have a surprise Yule Ball announcement and your mother has packed your sister’s clothes for you ? Well you don’t want to end up looking like Ron, would you? If Ron and Harry had access to smartphones they would simply login to Myntra/Flipkart via app and shop for the latest men’s suits and end up looking dapper and catching the right girl’s attention!
3. Google maps :
 
Yes please. You don’t want to end up meeting Malfoy and forcefully having to look at the ill faced Malfoy again and again . Find better paths back to your classrooms via google maps or Hoogle maps (Hogwarts+Google) ;) And Harry won’t get lost while heading to Platform nine and three quarters again !
4. SHOPPING: Book a new Broom at a single click - Ask Harry or Ron or even Ginny what a broom means to them ! Harry will swear by a broom because that’s what got him through the dragons task in ‘'the Goblet of Fire’ plus not to forget Quidditch is impossible to play without a broom! And what happens if you have a Broom breakout or some nasty fat or sleazy student from Slytherin steals your broom? You order a new one from your smartphone that too on next day delivery/Same day delivery ! :D Plus online shopping portals like Myntra have app only offers that always have huge discounts running on their websites ;) No more skipping Quidditch ! And no doubts when you tell shopping from portals like Myntra which have a whopping 80% flat off on app sales , its like MAGIC for the Weasely family considering they have to spend cautiously because they haven’t the income to buy new brooms without discounts :D!
And shopping for gifts would be so much easier for Ron and Dobby who always end up giving the most awkward gifts ! I am sure they would send so much love to Myntra app after Hermoine would kiss him when he got her a romantic gift ;)
5. Apps -Harry Potter Instagram
OH YES ! You can only imagine the amount of fun and help it would have been if Harry and his gang would have access to smartphones ! Endless apps such as Instagram, Twitter, Facebook ,Flashlight, Flipkart, Myntra , Gmail, Whatsapp , camera etc Advanced tech apps are a boon to all those who use them ! Endless shopping, instant messaging, immediate access to news and micro blogging . Not to forget every tweet sent out by Harry would be the most favorited and most Retweeted ;) Dobby dropping a happy birthday msg on Facebook profile of Harry and so much more !
So that’s what it would be like if wizards had smartphones! It would definitely feel like magic!

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Phone Vs Valentine !


"I am single and loving it." How many times have you heard this sentence? Well a million times right ? That doesn't mean singles don’t celebrate valentine’s day ! They do but with their phones ;)
How many of you own the line "Main apni favourite hoon " better then kareena kapoor ? *Raises hand* I do ! So you must’ve figured out I am a selfie kind of a girl , I would date myself, yeah I am so full of myself :P They love is blind but hey I am not  ;)

Kareena Kapoor

You know you love your phone because it So when all of the mushy couples updated their mushy mushy pictures on facebook I uploaded mine with my superhero , my  Phone ;)

“Being alone — there’s a certain dignity to it.”
Sem Cimsek

So apart from getting to sleep diagonally on my bed and being able to get down from both sides of my bad, no strings attached relationship (No , I hate strings even on my shoes and in my dresses; ), no dark circles , no bullshit the best thing about being single is you get to click hundred's of selfie’s and use your phone 24x7 without anybody asking you to shut it ! Ha !
So next time anybody leers at you during feb 14th shove your gorgeous phone on their face :P

Lemme list five reasons why I would prefer my ASUS phone over a man anyday !

1. No complexity only simplicity please: There are already too many complications in my life, and the inclusion of a man just triples them. They bring a lot of ‘You should love my family (no matter how much they hate you) , love my work (Doesn’t matter if he works for AIB or acts in RGV movies) , wear what I like (If he wants you to wear what Vidya Balan wears) reply to my phone calls (Even if you are in the middle of an important Shopping section, shop less (I don’t care that you are shopping in your money I can’t take it that you shop so much) and blah blah blah! But ASUS uses intelligence technology and personal attitude helping me and lets me live my wonderful life !
23 Reasons Your Cell Phone Is The Only Valentine You'll Ever Need

2. Responsiveness: Ever heard of a relationship with no compromises ? Naah . Never with a human. But guess what ? ASUS phone handle multiple tasks and gives better experiences there in giving perfect performance without compromises ;)
No more ‘Tum mjhe bhaaw nahi deti’, ‘ ‘Tum phone nahi karti’ , ‘Tum mujhe space nahi deti’, neither anymore of we both are a couple , its important we compromise sheez !

3. Forever and ever: Humans change. Always. Be it for good or bad. You cannot be sure when they leave you. Either they find someone better or they think their careers are important than us or they think its only them who are dedicative towards their partner but hey when your ASUS phone is your valentine it won’t leave you ever ! With longer battery life Intel Atom processor , it is energy efficient so now you can tweet , click numerous selfie’s and play without worrying about your battery dying !
I can spend all day together with my ASUS zenphone and never get sick of it ! :*

4. My photographer: ASUS zenphone along with its 6HD display has an excellent camera ! Plus holds my memories and won't judge me when I click a million selfie's! Oh sheh forget him asking out to help you click a few pictures ,“What will you do with these many photographs?” - this is what he will ask when you are clicking your own pictures !! Men tend to get tired and bored when it comes to clicking pictures of others ! Ha ! And with cricket world cup in full swing you might be shoo’ed away even before you pop a question ! But ASUS phone will ALWAYS be there for you ! Wow and HOW ! Advanced 13MP camera supported by intel lets me capture pictures like a pro ! Better pictures, more self confidence :P

Sonam Kapoor

5. Doesn't complain to match my outfits: You ask a man to match his tie with the outfit you are wearing and he might wear it once ir twice after which he will turn irritated ! Well well not the same in my ASUS phone’s case! My ASUS phone has interchangeable color cases so I can change and mix match with my outfits :D Zen cases slide and voila my phone is party ready in minutes ! Plus I get to dress my phone according to my mood and personality , you hardly get to do that when its a man in question ;)
15 Things We All Wish Our Phone Could Do

I just loved the ASUS phone 'Ill be my Valentine' add :* Its so me !



Until next time,
Love
Najm

Saturday, January 31, 2015

I am Brave. I survived , I survived a pimple !

 The Long Road…..to a pimple less face.
Pimple doodle
A few weeks ago, I was reading TOI and couldn’t take the crap happening around the world, Conjoint babies, Modi’s self love suit, Bombings, killings, Gosh some minister losing his teeth. And then I read about Farah Khan coming up with a sequel of HNY *Kill me* , People going haywire over Ghar wapsi, deformed babies , and creepy surveillance of how brands have started injecting veggies and fruits with Pig fat and other animal fat to increase their growth and improve their taste in the name of genetic engineering *pukes*
But I read all of this, and I was like oh dear, that’s nothing! I would endure all of that AND SO MUCH MORE! I would watch HNY sequel,Apply the perfect winged eyeliner, Get Brazilian waxed and so much more only if I were promised that the rest of my life I would be Pimple free !
Not here to discuss skin problems but want to talk about my struggle towards one obscene & annoying problem thing that used to take long walks on my face. (Is it too dramatic to call the surviving through a pimple a struggle?)
health-beauty-teen-teenager-teenage_girl-spot-spotty-lgon36_lowI know this is extreme , but hey I’ve got a PIMPLE on my face hokay!
The affect a small tiny & teensy weensy pimple has on me:
I cannot count how many times I've looked in the mirror during a bad pimple breakout and burst into tears literally because I had to go somewhere important and I felt so hideous and embarrassed and spotty and depressed and murderous. Or not wanting to join my friends at a meet out or because I'd rather die than leave the house without makeup. *smh* There have been countless other situations that I've avoided simply because I knew I would feel insecure and uncomfortable with that dime sized pimple that wouldn’t budge to vanish even with time! It may sound vain and I guess it is,  and it's so easy to judge "wow, that's so stupid and dumb..Oh my its no big deal! Just get over it and live your life" but this is our face we're talking about here. The first thing people see when they meet you and the main thing they're looking at while you're having a conversation is your DAMN face ! And imagine an insecure woman having a conversation when you keep staring at her pimple FACE!
What effect a DAMNED pimple can have on you, both emotionally and psychologically.:
I am not the only person who wakes up in the morning and dreads looking at her face in the mirror.
I can totally relate to your frustration with not having flawless skin complexion! I am too always struggling with breakouts time to time!
Bye bye Pimples:
The only thing that helped me get rid of pimples was makeup Face washes ! No really. They kept my face clean and actually reduced the acne and pimples. And recently my sister happened to buy this Facewash and it was I who emptied the whole tube like in two weeks flat *grinning* ,Loved it so much.
Everytime a pimple would pop on my face, those who actually cared about me would suggest I apply neem leaves paste or use some neem based cream, which I would definitely not go for, (Given the lazy perfectionist I am)I am not a fan of neem leaves. Who is? Disappointed smileThey smell like Dead caterpillar's and stink like taste like Bitter guard (Yes I happened to taste them too, don’t ask how) Hence it always seemed a prob when it came to using raw neem leaves. I did use a few creams which might have given .05% positive results. But neem face washes are love only ! So are Neem leaves based body washes Open-mouthed smile So when I find a neem based facewash I am the first one to grab it and make sure I use it on a daily basis to make sure I clean bolt all those dirty creepy pimples staying on my face without paying any rent *Angry face*
Penning some love for Garnier Neem Face Wash:
Dear Garnier Pure active Real Neem Face wash,
Life before you was anything but posh
Tiny red pimples all around my face
Making me succumb in disgrace
Popping and vanishing without a trace
My face would look all gross and red
It was so horrible I found myself wishing I was dead
It would itch and prickle my soft skin
I would try hard not to pop it with a hairpin
No compacts no creams could cleverly hide

those pimples that covered my face from side to side

But that was until you came along Oh Garneir Real Neem
You clean swept my pimples & made me beam
It was decade since the problem begun
But you solved it & now I am pimple free at twenty one!
Twice a day using you made my skin clean & clear
Now I stare back at myself in the mirror without fear!
You mesmerized me with your mild & pleasant smell
In love with you , I fell
Your goodness of neem extracts & Tea tree oil mad my days sunny
Oh boy at just 75 Rupees, you are definitely value for money!

  Garnier real Neem Pure Active Face wash
So there you have it, my whole experience where I tried being brave throughout my entire life and how actually survived and got ride of nasty pimples ! Lemme just end it with the last thing that having beautiful skin and no pimples also requires a proper healthy diet because you are what you eat! But aside from that, you can try Garnier Neem face wash!
PS: Please don’t hate me for the sloppy poem :P
I know I suck at poetry, but nevertheless it’s a humorous try :D

This post is a part of Garnier's blogger activity on Indiblogger.